Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
