One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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