Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
