Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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