I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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