the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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