oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I have aggressive nipples.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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