You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
