So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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