Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
