roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
