I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
