Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
