i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
