Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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