Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
