Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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