Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
