i think my tv is drunk
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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