in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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