yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
