OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
