i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
