Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
