And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
