I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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