so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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