Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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