I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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