guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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