I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
