I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The beer is more important than you right now.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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