just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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