so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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