summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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