i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
