I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
