it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sorry about my life...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
