WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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