i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
