I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
