dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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