It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
