Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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