Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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