If that was your dad, he is hot
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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