theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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