The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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