Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
