R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
