hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
