Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
